News : CDRC in the News

October 24th, 2008

By Judy Saul

Originally printed in the Ithaca Journal, October 24, 2008

Change is one of life’s constants, and it presents both challenges and opportunities.  That’s something you probably know well.  What you may not know is that CDRC can be a resource when you’re facing times of change and transition.  Whether the change involves an individual, a family, an organization or a community, it usually requires our engagement with others as we sort through what has come before and what lies ahead.   And that’s where CDRC can help.

Most people think of CDRC when they feel stuck in a conflict.  That’s an appropriate time to seek assistance, and CDRC’s mediation services help hundreds of people talk through their differences.  But CDRC can also help before conflict emerges, when couples, families, work groups or neighborhoods need to grapple with approaching change.  During times of change, mediation or facilitation can provide a space and time dedicated to talking through what’s happening.  Because CDRC’s facilitator is focused on the interaction, family members, employees or residents can turn their full attention to the issue at hand, knowing that their sometimes difficult conversations will be supported.

One thing that makes change difficult is that it often involves unknowns.  It’s usually easy to imagine the worst, to focus on the things we’re losing.  Left unexpressed, these apprehensions can expand and become exaggerated.  Putting our concerns on the table openly and honestly can be helpful for all involved.  This may offer others the chance to hear and respond, increasing everyone’s understanding and offering new perspectives on the change.

This was the situation for a neighborhood concerned about a supportive housing unit that was proposed for a vacant house on their block.  Homeowners talked to each other, imagining the worst.  People asked each other a lot of questions that none of them could answer.  Residents weren’t really sure about who their new neighbors would be.  They worried about people coming and going day and night, an increase in crime, a negative impact on property values.  As they talked, their uneasiness grew.   One resident drafted a petition asking the zoning board to block the change.  At this point, a local legislator asked CDRC to facilitate a meeting between the housing agency and the neighbors.  Concerns were aired, questions were answered and the housing agency agreed to not only keep neighbors informed but include some modifications in their plans that addressed some of the neighbors’ concerns. 

Change can also be difficult because it may render the usual way of doing things ineffective.  At the same time, it may not yet be clear what the new way will be.  A family came to CDRC to talk through their teenager’s interest in getting a part time job.  Already concerned about their son’s choices, his parents were afraid that a job would mean that his school performance and his connection to the family would slip.  During the mediation, the son was able to talk about the job he hoped to get, how it would help him think about his future, and what it would mean to him to be able to earn money for himself.  His parents agreed that if a specific set of home responsibilities were fulfilled, and if his grades didn’t drop, he could apply for the job he wanted.  They also agreed to come back in two months to talk again about how this new arrangement was working for their family.  The conversation allowed everyone to enter this phase of their family’s life with a clear understanding of the new rules and limits.

Finally, transition often means shifting roles and responsibilities.  A work team was told by their supervisor that they would be responsible for an additional set of tasks because the organization was cutting several positions.  They were also cautioned to be efficient in their use of resources, since the budget remained tight.  Most of the team felt they were looking at a no-win situation.  The supervisor heard their concerns and suggested that they spend a day analyzing their own process and how they could absorb the additional work.  A CDRC facilitator helped them structure the day, talk honestly about the challenges they faced and use the time to develop concrete plans for their success. 

These are just a few of the hundreds of examples of people using CDRC proactively – to talk through a situation before a conflict emerges.  So next time you find yourself wondering about how to manage a change in your personal life, your family situation, your workplace or your neighborhood, think about calling CDRC to see if mediation or facilitation might help.  Remember, in situations of change as well as of conflict, talk works!