News : CDRC in the News

August 22nd, 2008

by Jeff Shepardson

Originally printed in the Ithaca Journal

It’s been called a Perfect Storm:  when a certain group of factors come together to create a crisis.  And, Elder Mediation may be a critical resource in weathering one such storm.

Here’s the picture…

The fastest growing segment of our population are people over the age of 60. The average couple has more parents and in-laws than they do children.  Elder-care needs cost employers at least $29 billion annually in lost productivity and wages.  Costs for continuing care, nursing home care and Medicare are soaring while family and government resources are in decline.  And, now more than ever, family members are living further from each other, making family decision-making more difficult.

Because of all this, families with elder members face tremendous pressures from the many transitions that come with aging.  Decisions about health care now and in the future, living arrangements, the family home and estate, power of attorney, just to mention a few, are often negotiated by family members who are separated by time zones, broken marriages and complicated family histories. 

Some families engage in all-out legal battles over these complicated situations, but more often than not, families instead find their connections and relationships quietly bruised after dealing with these issues. with some members never fully recovering.

CDRC believes that relationships don’t have to suffer or become broken in the process of making difficult decisions or having tough conversations.    We now offer Elder Mediation which has, in its first three years, proven to be of significant help!

One of our clients wrote after an elder mediation dealing with the family’s estate:

“On behalf of me and all my siblings, thanks for your kind, caring and expert mediation work.  We could not have done it without you.  The rest of our weekend went very well, and you helped lay a foundation for that good work.”

Another satisfied elder mediation client wrote of a session that centered around issues of his father’s independence:

“I’m most grateful for the assistance that was provided last Saturday.  Given the frustration that my father was feeling, and the anger he was expressing initially, I doubt the discussion would have progressed without the mediators present.”

CDRC, with offices located in Chemung, Schuyler and Tompkins counties has been working with the Aging Services Networks, Office for the Aging and DSS in these counties to develop and offer the elder mediation service we call “Wise Talk.” 

We base our programs on the belief that if given a safe and neutral space, people are better able to express themselves and listen to each other.  With the presence and support of trained mediators, family members are able to get clearer about the issues they face and are often able to name next steps or come up with a plan of action.  

Mediation is a process that understands the importance and value of relationships in the work of problem-solving.  Connections are maintained and families are strengthened as understanding increases. 

So, why else is mediation of value?  Mediation gives family members, not the courts, control over their decision making.  Mediation is provided at no charge and is faster than other options..  Mediation is confidential and voluntary, and most people find it less intimidating.  Also, mediation allows for creative solutions that are better suited to the needs of the participants.

Whether your family is in the middle of a crisis or you simply want to pull folks together to explore options; Wise Talk mediators can be there to help with the challenging issues facing elders and their families.  We know conflict can make life hard.  CDRC is here to help.

As part of CDRC’s yearlong celebration of its 25^th anniversary, we will hold our Tompkins gala on Tuesday, October 21^st at 6:30pm at the Museum of the Earth.  At this celebration, we will be highlighting our elder mediation services with a very special guest speaker, Dr. William Thomas, author of What Are Old People For? How Elders Will Save the World, and founder of the Eden Alternative movement.  If you would like to hear Dr. Thomas speak while helping CDRC celebrate 25 years in the community, please give us a call at 273-9347 to make a reservation.  We look forward to having you join us!